Sunday, December 27, 2009

The Best Birthday Present That I Ever Received

In my more than thirty years as a writer, this is by far the most difficult thing I have ever had to write. It is my hope that it will bring a deeper understanding of a person we all knew and loved. There are parts of what I've written here that you may find disturbing, but it is my hope that by shedding some light on Lesly's past, I may help to provide a light at the end of the tunnel for others who are going through what she survived. Please forward this website to everyone you know. If you do, one child may be spared the agony of a tormented life.

The year was 1989. I had recently moved to Las Vegas and a mixture of new and old friends had decided to throw me a birthday party. Just about everyone I knew was there except for one friend working as a cocktail waitress at the old Aladdin hotel. My buddy Gary and I decided to make a night of it and go down to the hotel. While we waited for Allison to finish serving her drinks, Gary and I had a drink and listened to the lounge band. During one of the breaks, an attractive redhead sitting to my right engaged me in conversation. It was a conversation that would not end for twenty years.

What was truly amazing about our friendship was that it grew at all. As I soon learned, Lesly had a basic distrust of people and men in particular. Although very outgoing and gracious, she rarely let anyone get too close. Over time, she told me of growing up in a well-to-do neighborhood in El Paso, Texas. Her father, Frank, was in the fashion business and her mother, Joyce, was a stay-at-home mom. She lived there with her sister and a horse. That horse, later taken from her by her father, would become her friend and confidant during her almost daily rides. He was also responsible for her lifelong love affair with horses and all other animals. To the outside world it was the idyllic, upper-class 60s household. But looks can be deceiving and what happened behind closed doors would change Lesly's life forever. Hers was a homelife of adultery, child abuse and a father who preyed upon Lesly in an effort to satisfy his sick perversions.

The 60s were a time when suspicions of child abuse were spoken of in hushed tones. Child Protective Services did not exist and if you had money and influence, which her father had, almost anything could be covered up. When she tried to tell a neighbor what was happening, she was accused of being mentally unstable and institutionalized for a short time. She never spoke of her homelife to a stranger again. Instead, she became a "stepdaughter" to her godparents, Ted and Verlie Brooks. They became her real parents as far as she was concerned. Her love for them ran deep. Ted was the stereotypical tall Texas car dealer down to his cowboy boots. Upon his death several years ago, all Lesly asked for were those boots.

As I said, it's amazing that we were able to build a trusting relationship from a foundation that was anything but trusting, but we did. We had our ups and downs over the years. There were some things we agreed on and a lot that we did not. There were times when our disagreements would sound downright silly to an outsider and on those occasions, we would invariably hear "So, how long have you two been married?" What kept our friendship going was the fact that we knew each other better than any other people on the planet knew either one of us. Lesly was my best friend, and I will miss her every day of my life.

As a personal tribute to Lesly, I will be creating a foundation in her name. The Marchese Foundation will help adults who were abused as children, deal with the lifelong psychological and physiological effects that come as a result of that abuse.

Mark Jacobson

5 comments:

  1. Lesly and I met a few years ago working at a Market Research Company here in Las Vegas. We became friends almost immediately and our friendship continued until the day of her passing. She was a classy, elegant lady with a huge heart and a laugh that was contagious. I loved her like the sister I never had. I will miss her terribly but am also glad I had the chance to be her friend.

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  2. I worked with Lesley at her most recent job. I learned so much from her and will miss her tremendously.

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  3. Lesley was the most amazing person and one of the most unique people I ever met. Her life was full of heartbreaking struggles, but she never gave up and always fought through it with the upmost class and always a smile. She was so kind and loved people and animals so completely. I did not know her intimately, but worked with her for over 4 years and we were able to share and laugh together, she was contagious with her stories and always made me stronger. She never gave up, ever and continued to fight all the way to the end. Lesley had the greatest style and before I even knew her name I would watch her walk through the building and always look at her shoes, (which were the most amazing rainbow of colors and they always, always matched her outfit.) I often held myself up to her and realized (embarrasingly sometimes) that if she could wear a smile and work through her trials, that I certainly could. I know, even while she was battling her sickness, she would volunteer her time at the animal shelter and had so much love to share. As an animal person myself, it only made me respect her more. There is a hole in my life without her, and certainly a hole at work, where I miss seeing her everyday. She is and will continue to be missed very much.

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  4. I feel honored to have had a chance to meet Lesley. Though faced with a serious illness she stayed positive and cheerful throughout. She was an inspiration to be around.

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  5. Lesley was an amazing woman. I met her when I started at UPS as an Inside Sales Associate. The first time I saw her I thought she was so beautiful and elegant. Along the way we became friends and this continued when we changed desks. I was always amazed at how she outwardly handled all that she was going through. She always gave me such great inspiration and she will truly be missed. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think about her. I am so saddened by her passing and so happy that I had her in my life.

    Linda

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